I frequently find myself reading about and contemplating religious and philosophical ideas. I’ve always been really fascinated by why we are here, and I am open to the vast array of theories, beliefs, and attitudes about this topic. I find it interesting to flirt with the different perspectives, while also understanding, (I’ll never truly know), and due to that fundamental paradigm, my attitudes and ideas on these topics tend to waver like the ocean. Or as The King James Testament says;

“But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.” – James 1.6

As someone’s whose faith feels more like an erratic, changing, vast and dynamic ocean; amidst a storm. I can sense how supportive and centring it must be to have a mind that doesn’t question their beliefs or faith. How strong and supported one must always feel! That feels inspiring, but not so achievable for my curious mind.

Yet the path of Yoga teaches us to question everything. So, perhaps, for this reason, I’ve found refuge within it.

I’ve questioned and altered my worldview many times and I can only imagine I will continue to do so, as I grow older and wiser.

What I have come to realise is, regardless of whether I have evidence to back up my faith, believing in something is an act that enables courage, inspiration, and hope – even if it is only theoretical. So I can’t see why belief, faith, and seeking a higher meaning, could ever be a bad thing, or a senseless waste of time.

So, as life goes on, with an ever-opening heart and an evolving and curious mind, I find myself continueing to question more and more deeply. Some of these questions are outlined below.

I’ve read about karma and reincarnation and It makes sense… Yet, I do occasionally, doubt that there is in fact, life after this. Perhaps, we just die and that’s the end? Which is quite a hopeless way of thinking, yet, still quite logical. I imagine many feel this way…

Sometimes, I imagine when we die, we then become some form of energy that’s returned to the whole without our “mind” our body, or the ability to process conscious thought, whereby we simply decay and all matter and what we know to be ‘material’ disappears.

I can grasp that there would be no concept or aspect of self remaining when this occurs. So, what does remain? When the self is no more?… Pure energy, I suppose?

At other times, I like to consider the interconnectedness of everything, and I wonder, perhaps this reincarnation thing is real? Perhaps, I am really here, in some kind of school of life, living out my individual karma, which comes via my own self born samskara’s and vasana’s (patterns & beliefs), and perhaps I am just doing it, over and over again in different forms of experience – until I get the lesson, or break the cycle of samsara.

In small ways day to day, we can see these cycles of karma play out in our own lives. But then what if, the whole purpose of life really is a greater scale of that?

Perhaps, I am the homeless man I see on the street, because I’ve been in his shoes one life before?

Perhaps, those living the hardest, most difficult life circumstances, those suffering, the beggars, the ill & those in pain are just on some really hard “life level”, where they are actually deeply evolved souls here to experience something more challenging, more visceral, and deep?

Perhaps, that version of life, one of extreme hardship and suffering, is the only one that can help them learn what they need to learn this time around?

Perhaps, that’s just what was necessary to enhance their inner capacity and to help awaken them to the ultimate reality? Or their ultimate purpose?

Or perhaps, we are just here to ignite a spark in another? And the whole purpose of this one life is to serve someone else? Or for an act, such as, for someone else to be born?

Maybe, we all have different Dharma and life purposes of varying degrees, which contribute to the greater purpose beyond our comprehension?

Perhaps, everything painful in life really is here to teach us?

Suppose, our life is much like a video game or simulation, where our mind is like a computer, constantly working to “upgrade”?

If so, I wonder…What level am I on?

How many levels do I have to go till I reach ‘Samadhi’? And, If I’m super disciplined, aware, and conscious in this life, how much closer can that bring me to these states?

What if, one never “gets it”, does that mean you just have countless lives repeating the same karma?

What if at times, life experience, the highs, and lows, the drama & the associated karma that is brought with it, are quite enjoyable? Or do make a great story?

And…last of all,

What about those who don’t want to evolve, move forward, or change? What about someone who simply doesn’t know how to get help or work on themselves? Do they just get left behind?

All these answers I do not know. So, I just try to keep and open mind and stay curious.

Even if this is not the case, and we do just die and that’s the end of it…

I can’t shake the knowledge that being a kind, self-aware human only seems to benefit those around us and the world.

Once we understand ourselves truly, we understand our place within all of nature.

We realise we are a part of nature. I am you, and you are me.

So, shouldn’t I want to take care of you? And nature? And our planet the same as I do myself & kin?

Yes. I do.

For I believe that I am just a microcosm of the macrocosm.

As are you.

We are just a part of the whole,

A wave within the ocean.

We are a part of the universe.

We are love expressing itself.

Mish x